Beware of Geeks bearing gifts

So I start blogging, yeah? And I post my first entry, yeah? Curious to see the result, like you are, I go to the page, see it all set up - nice and bonny - then am drawn to a button that says "Next blog". So I click. Thought it might be alphabetical, you know, "Dear Dairy" followed by "Drear Diary" or whatever but no, I get "Hot blogs" and a volley of warnings from trusty McAfee telling me a Trojan has been stopped in its tracks. Hold on now, what kind of sinister business is going on here? It's akin to being tagged with a Cyber-Industries bluetooth earpiece with who knows what sinister intent!
Stop it out there with all your viral and associated nonsense! And stop telling me where to get Viagra, I've already had a penile implant! Look I'm pressing the switch - on, off, on, off. Oo-er, I think I'd better have a lie down.

Let's call him Nelson

Took a day out to that-there-London and as chance would have it stepped out of Waterloo station half an hour before a statue of Nelson Mandela was due to be unveiled just across the bridge in Parliament Square, in the great man's presence. What the hell, it wasn't on the programme but I stuck around to point my phone at the distant shrouded bronze. Don't know why, just seemed like the thing to do, everyone else was doing it.
Got bored before he denuded his likeness with a flick of his arthritic wrist and I made off across the green to do Planned Stuff, but found myself humming "Free Goody's umbrella" to the tune of "Free eponymous" as I went. It doesn't seem like two minutes since we were having a ruckus with Locals in Rammy culminating in arrests for some, flight for others (there I go, winged heels!) and the loss of the famous Brolly. Ah tempus fugit! Wist, wist!