Who should I vote for, mum?

Say what you want about Scousers, even the hardest-bitten Man Utd fan would have to concede, well, at least they hate The Sun.
Last night I was in the pub watching the cricket when I inadvertently picked up a copy having failed to spot the masthead. Horror! I'd just ordered food that had to be eaten without cutlery and I thought "Arrgh! Fecal matter!" and proceeded to smear some on both front and back pages.
So they decided to ditch Gordon Brown's Labour for David Cameron's Tories, and lo! and behold, the Tories have jemmied their way in.
It reminds me of my five-year old who walks in while I'm watching sport on the box and checks out the score before announcing who he wants to win (i.e.: the team that's winning). Then again, that's probably about the literacy age that you'd associate with that sorry rag.