LHC - Large Hadron Cafetière

I find the work that has got underway again at Cern on the Large Hadron Collider quite fascinating. I was mulling it over as I stirred cream into my coffee, and noticed how the cream took resembled the spiralling of a galaxy. The scientists say that the astral bodies (galaxies and the like) could only be moving at the rate observed if surrounded by invisible dark matter. In other words, what they are looking for is the coffee. And the question should be, not what it consists of but how long elapses between it being stirred and it being drunk.